WUH, YOU IS A REAL IDJIT
PURPOSE: True friendship can withstand most adversities
It is a typical Saturday night in the village, the air is cool and the mood around Husbands rum shop is festive. The rediffusion is turned up as loud as it can go and Mighty Sparrow is belting out some sweet calypso music. Two teams are sitting around a table of dominoes, slamming pieces down, shouting “pass!” each time a player is unable to put a domino on the table. Also, on the table is a flask of Mount Gay; some hardcore drinkers are downing it straight, while others either mix in a splash of Coke or water to cut the alcohol. The current game just finished and the next team was getting ready to challenge the winners. It is Shoes and Snouts turn.
The champions were anxious to get on with the next game and began summoning the challengers to the table. “Shoes, you an’ Snouts gine stop fooling aroun’, an’ sit wunna sef down? We en’ got all nite, ya hear?
“Don’ worry! Man, cool ya foot, we coming!” Shoes responded. “Lemme get anotha’ sip a rum an’ we gine be ready.”
Shoes was already three sheets to the wind and was going to enter a domino contest with his partner against the local champions. But before Shoes began to play, he pulled Snouts, his playing partner aside to work out some signals ahead of time. Just a bit of insurance. Shoes was a tall man of darker complexion, a real busy-body in the village, sure to make everybody’s business his own. He was also a very heavy drinker and a day did not go by unless he had at least one drink. But when he was sober, he was also one of the best domino players in the village.
His partner, Snouts, was much younger, a bit chubby and introverted, but he was also a good domino player and was good at following Shoes’ lead when they played together as a team. They had previously worked out a number of signals between them to gain advantage in games. Tonight, they decided to change their tactics a bit because other teams were beginning to catch on to them. They both agreed on the new signals and headed for the table.
“We ready now, man… shuffle the dominoes,” Shoes demanded of the champions already seated.
The game was progressing well, but got quite heated at times. The players seemed to be slamming the dominoes harder at each play, cussing each other out, and stopping for the occasional sip of Mount Gay. Slam! Another domino, went on the board, and Shoes knocked on the table with confidence, as he said, “You pass!” to his opponent who was next to play. But
as the rum kicked in, Shoes and Snouts got further behind in the game. Their team was down one game and win would tie the game, but a loss would make them losers at six to four.
“Awright, Snouts, we gotta win de next game to keep we money, so le we get dem,” Shoes coached Snouts with a certain sense of urgency.
Snouts acknowledged Shoes coaching in the game. Three plays were left, Shoes played a six on one end, and put the dominoes he had left in his hand down on the table. The play passed his opponent and placing the dominoes down was a signal to Snouts to turn the game to sixes on both ends. Instead, thinking of the old signals instead of their new ones, Snouts blocked the game and left Shoes holding three cards – one a double six and the other two also had sixes. Shoes became belligerent, threw his dominoes on the table and started cussing and yelling at Snouts.
“Wuh, you’s a real idjit! I put me hand down and you was suppose’ to leave the game open. I had all the cards and wuddah win!” Shoes exclaimed.
But we changed the rules before the game, Shoes, ‘cause dem was catchin’ on and we didn’ want them to fin’ out,” Snouts said, as he slowly got up from the table. Without warning, Shoes grabbed the Coke bottle and…whacks! He gave Snouts one lick upside he head.
Snouts went down dazed for a second, but recovered quickly got up and started beating on Shoes. They wrestled on the ground for a few more minutes until both of them were exhausted. Snouts was first to get up, lip all busted, knot on his head from the Coke bottle and his shirt all torn up. He reached down for Shoes’ hand and pulled him up. Shoes suffered some bumps and a black eye where Snouts cuff he. Suddenly, Shoes hugged Snouts and they both started laughing.
“Man, ya ketch me wid a gud one, ya strong enuf. No problem, man, you still my boy!” Shoes told Snouts. “Le we get something to eat man…. Ms Husband,” Shoes shouted, “open a can a corn beef and mix in some onions, in gi’ we some soda biscuits, another roun’ for de boys, and…pass de hot sauce.”