DO, DADDY, DO! I EN’ GINE DO IT AGIN!
Henry was a mischievous red kid with freckles who loved to play pranks on the other kids in the village. His younger brother, Ralph, was a nice looking kid and all the girls in the village liked him. He was loud, had a big smile, and bragged a lot about everything. Ralph loved to show off and since he and his older brother were fairly close in age, they both got into trouble together.
Flora was a nice looking girl with slightly bandy legs, and had an eye for the boys. She liked Ralph and wanted him to come over to hang out. Flora was the daughter of the Pastor of the local church and had two younger brothers, but that family was never seen in the street playing or even talking with the other kids. Pastor Carver, Flora’s father, was a serious man about his work and his family. He cared for his children and kept them close. He had two churches to serve and occasionally travelled to the other church while the lay people tended to his home church
It was a cool, crisp night in Chimborazo and there was a rally at the church. A visiting Pastor from another church had volunteered to conduct services while Pastor Carver visited his other church. On this particular night, the church was full to the brim and there were even some people hanging outside because there were no seats available inside the church. Beside the lights from the church, everything in the village was dark. There were no streetlights and no moon on this night. Immediately next door to the church, was the parsonage where Pastor Carver lived with his family, but the lights were also turned off in the house.
Earlier that day, as Flora and Ralph were riding home from school on the bus, Flora wrote a note to Ralph inviting him over that night. She was very specific about the time because she knew her father was going to visit the other church. But Ralph being braggadocios, let out the plan to some of his friends.
As nightfall came, Ms Carver took her two boys to the church next door while Flora feigned a stomach ache and was allowed to stay home. Right on schedule, Pastor Carver started his old Morris Minor and headed for the other church. He rounded the corner and disappeared down the hill heading towards Castle Grant. In the meantime, Ralph was under the church, in the cellar, waiting for the high-sign from Flora to enter the house. She opened a window and Ralph climbed in because the back door was jammed shut.
As the story goes, Pastor Carver had received word from a little birdie earlier in the day, that a certain young man in the village would be paying a visit to his house that night, after he left for his other church. So Pastor Carver rigged the doors and windows shut except for the one window Ralph crawled through. On that night, Pastor Carver drove the car to the bottom of the hill, parked it and turned off the lights, and then walked back to the house under the cover of darkness. Once he arrived and was sure Ralph was in the house, he jammed the final window shut.
Of course, once he was in the house, Ralph and Flora got down to the hanging out business. Being distracted and under the signing, cymbals, and shouting coming from the church next door, Ralph never heard the front door open. Suddenly, standing at the bedroom door was Pastor Carver with a piece of bamboo rod. Pastor Carver lambasted him with some licks; he could not get back out of the house. The Pastor chased Ralph to every door and window in the house pelting nuttin’ but licks in he tail.
The licks were so hot, and Ralph was shouting so hard, it alerted all the people in the church next door. The whole church emptied into the street to see the happenings. They were all cheering on Pastor Carver because most people knew that Ralph was a naughty boy and they thought it was a well-deserved cut ass.
Finally, Ralph could not take the licks anymore and broke through the same window landing in the plimpla bushes outside. Ralph started running home in embarrassment, but standing right out in front of the church with the other onlookers, was his father who dragged him home. Meanwhile Pastor Carver turned his attention to Flora. He threw some serious licks right up she channel and, as we say, the only place he didn’t hit she was ‘pon she tongue.
In the meantime, because Ralph’s dad had a broken arm all bound up, he couldn’t both hold and lash Ralph. He told the older brother Henry to administer the licks. Understanding that boys will be boys, it was difficult for his older brother to provide the punishment. Ralph started begging, “Do, daddy, do! I en’ gine do it agin! Do, daddy, do!”. But realizing that this was the only outcome, Ralph’s older brother tore his behind up!
Once the commotion died down, it was time for bedtime tea. Ms Smith prepared some bakes, cocoa tea, and a little pickled saltfish. As Ralph was getting ready to sit at the table for tea, his father told him, “get up, you en’ gine eat a ting in heh, tonite. You mek we face shame an’ ya gine to bed hungry tonite. So pass de hotsauce and get in ya bed.”
Bajan hotsauce: Writer Stan Brooks, Editor Jeanne Brooks