Big Bubby Dana Branch
Dana was a very popular store owner. She had one of the best and most popular rum shops in St. Joseph. She had style and knew how to engage her customers, especially the local men. People came from all over the village and even other parishes to hangout at Dana’s shop. There was always plenty of food and rum, and dominoes games went together.
Dana also had many other attributes besides being a skillful entrepreneur and saleswoman. She was an elegant, well dressed, and well-endowed lady. Because of her assets, which exceeded any other woman within miles of her shop, like most Bajans, she received a nickname based on her physical appearance. Most people did not know her real name, even at her death. She was called Big Bubby Dana Branch, and that name would follow her to her grave.
Dana also had other skills. She knew how to catch and hold a man. Even though she was married, she had many suitors, most of whom were married clamoring for her attention and personal time. One of those men was Marcus.
Marcus was married with several children and worked hard to provide for his family. However, he also enjoyed a drink, and his favorite spot was Big-Bubby Dana Branch’s rum shop. Just like all the other men around the shop, Marcus was smitten with Dana and frequented the shop even though many other men did the same thing. Dana played them all.
It was early in the morning in the village in Chimborazo and Marcus had not made it home. Ermine, his wife, stayed up all night wondering what might have happened to him. He usually made it back well before midnight if he was out drinking. The children were restless too and could barely sleep as they listened to mom sobbing and singing while waiting for Marcus to return.
Then suddenly, the natural horn of the car as he turned the corner before pulling into the driveway. Ermine looked out, and the front of the vehicle was smashed. Marcus climbed out with dried blood and wounds to his face. Ermine helped him into the house and started attending to his injuries.
After attending to him, she turned to him and asked, “hey wait, wuh happen to you, and how come de car mashup?”. Marcus would tell his story. “Ermine, dis is de gospel truth. I was comin cross St. George Cross Road, when all of a sudden this old soldier with flaming eyes, glowing buttons on he tunic, and sword in he han was right in de middle of de road”. Marcus continued the story, “ I was never so frighten in me life, all I could do is swerve de car an I run off de road”. Marcus appeared spooked by this story, and that was the story the children eavesdropping also believed.
Days later, Shoes the local lickmout, dropped by Marcus’s house to pimp some food and drink. Shoes could not keep a good story, so he started telling his version, “Ms. Brewster, you hear wuh really happen wid Mr. Brewster car?” Ermine was curious because the tall tale of the Old Soldier was a bit suspicious, so she encouraged Shoes to tell the rest of the story. Shoes continued, “well, I was outside Charlie house listening to Marcus telling de story in secret an he say dat he was wid Dana makin mock sport when he was driving and loss control of de car and run off de road.”
Ermine knew there was more to the story than Marcus was telling. She thanked Shoes for the information, fixed him some sardines, soda biscuits, and mauby. Shoes was not one to apologize, but he saw the hurt on Ms. Brewster’s face, and he tried to comfort her. “Ms. Brewster, I does feel real sorry I said anyting, I wish I did keep me mout shut. Hey, ya fix dese sardines gud enuf, tanks en – pass de hot sauce.”
Story by Dr. Stan Brooks