We had a family who lived in Cowards Road all the way down in the gully. This family was hardly ever seen in the village. No one in the village actually knew their names. They lived a very unique life on a couple of acres. They grew their own food and smoked lots of weed. It was three of them, they all had dreadlocks, and since we didn’t know their names, we gave each of them nicknames so we could identify them in stories. The dad we called Daddy Dred, the mother was called Mommy Dred, and the little boy around seven years old, we called Baby Dread.
Samba was the local thief. He got his nickname because his skin was charcoal black and shiny. But he was known for going into people’s homes when they were out and taking food.
It was early Sunday morning in the village, a nice cool bright morning and we could see all the way down to the beach in St. Andrew. Some of the village people were hanging outside, some had left for church, and others were cooking the usual Sunday Dinner. Sunday dinners is a big deal after church in Barbados.
To our surprise, the Dreds wandered off their little compound and walked into the village. They spoke to no one and everyone left them alone. This was so unusual to see the Dreds that Samba thought it would be a good idea to go sneak in their house to see what’s going. Samba found the back door open, so he let himself in. To his surprise, he found these three bowls of cornmeal pap with raisins on the table.
He climbed into the chair at the head of the table with the biggest bowl, took the spoon and gulp a big spoonful. The pap was so hot he screamed. Then he decided to try the medium sized bowl at the other end of the table. He took a good spoonful and it was awfully cold. “Yuk” he said. He finally decided to try the smallest bowl. Perfect, he thought. Not too hot, not too cold, and just sweet enough. He put the bowl to his head and drank all the pap straight down. But he was not satisfied.
So, he got this brilliant idea to mix the hot larger bowl with the cold medium sized bowl, throw some sugar in and he drank the whole thing. The pap was so heavy in his stomach, he thought he would take a quick rest and get out before the Dreds returned. Samba fell asleep.
The Dreds returned and found the pap was all gone. They wondered what happened and decided to look around. They found Samba dead asleep on the floor in the living room. Daddy Dred got a cow skin and started throwing some lashes in he tail. Samba jumped up and the pee ran straight down he leg from the pain. Once his legs caught up to his brain, Samba dashed out of the house and ran down Cowards Road back to his house yelling “murdah! Murdah! He trying to kill muh!”.
All the people standing outside got concerned and others in their house ran outside to see what the noise was about. Shoes, Samba’s uncle asked Samba, “wha you do now boy?” “Nuttin, nuttin Uncle, Uncle, Samba was bawling. “Well it dohn look like nuttin to me, you pants all wet wid pee and you look like somebody tear up ya tail. Wha you do boy?” Shoes asked.
Samba finally confessed. “I jus went to the Dreds house to see whey dem does live, and I akcidently drink dem pap”. “Wha how does you akcidently drink sumbody pap?” Shoes asked. “Ya see you, hard ears ya dohn hear, ya gine feel” Shoes scolded him. Shoes continued giving him a good tongue lashing. “If ya wasn’t so likrish en hardmout, ya wud be hey wid we eating brekfus all like now. Wha sweeten kiddie mout does bun he tail. Look, cud dear, we havin muffins, ackee, en salt fish. If you dhin go off likrishing, ya wud be eatin wid we all like now. Go en get dem wet pants off en – pass de hotsauce!
Story by: Dr. S. MacNivan Brooks (Stan)